June 30, 2010
1. seems I have lived in dumpsters
with you while other peoples shit rolled off our backs
like water for the living
not past our prime yet
2. all day long then
we sang our songs of the living death
banishing one another
to the darkness of each others soul
3. after I tasted sour mash whiskey
that reminded me of the taste of your kiss
that happened once to me
while I was slashing my writes
because of something you said.
4. after you admitted to the lie that I lived for
after I died for you
as the moon collided with the sun
coming back for me not again
I am still dead.
5. after you sang a song to me
from the ancient tome of the demon.
demon songs repeat endlessly
reminding me of our sacrifice.
6. after we danced
danced and are still dancing
around the subject the camillas trampled underfoot
still betray the meaning.
You speak of communion and catharthis
like you know what they mean.
Practicing religion like a madman
does not make you pure.
Only women bleed.
7. after the war zone
was rezoned for the living
you denied that time was the master of destiny.
I cried for them
still trapped in your magic dance.
8. after I again bring to you my confession
I will lie
I will lie and you won't know
because you have already
relinquished the right
to see that my pain is not distress
I laugh in your face
and only I
chose to embrace you
in all your filth and derision.
9. after I lost friends
near the highway that you told me to avoid
I crawl along the pavement
searching for the wasted days and wasted nights
that held the answers
to the questions that you avoided
and made me find my own answers.
Some of them correct
some of them undeniably Wrong.
10. after I listened to the music
that you suggested
I found that you only knew half the story
I found my own way in my own music
Sia Beth taught me strength
not to be confused with force
like you "forced" me to be alone
alone with you
alone with myself dancing with myself
with you me
I am You are Me.
11. after I forgive you
I said I did
I forgave you
but I only half meant it.
Your obsession with the anti-christ
trying to fool me by wearing his clothes
but I knew
I had seen him before and he was not you.
The priest told me told me
and told me again
that I should trust the Magus.
The magic man that had deciphered the clues and codes
but was hiding them from me.
Yes, the priest told me all that.
So I knew.
12. after you looked into my eyes
you denied that you saw God.
but you know.
13. after all this time
I say I don't love you anymore but I do.
I can't help it
It is my curse.
you hang so near
and yet so far away
it is my curse.
14. after I lie to you
do you believe I still love you?
15. after we decipher
this missive of grand design
that the daughters of Zion
forced upon us
because they knew
they knew who we are.
we will then be whole
together or apart
16. after superstrings and quantum foam
tie us up and lubricate us
burning our retinas s
o that maybe we will not have to look
not have to see
the damage that we have already done
the list goes on.
to ~the creator~
I realized you were unaware of my presence
of my devotion/adoration
of my disappointment
of my predicament.
Two worlds collided for an instant
that morphed into a lifetime.
17. after I sing with my friends
my few perfect friends
the nouvelle vague
I dance with my friends
in the morning
hearing and seeing
a new world
before our eyes
that reflects the perfect vision
our lips denied the drink.
18. after we/I have gathered
the ten thousand
of the chosen
who feel the burn
the sting of the perfect love
the path of the visionary will open
and you will have to stand back
and let us pass over you
into your eyes your lips your soul.
19. after We resurrect Your love
you will appreciate
the open window
the breeze gathering your hair
up into the ascension,
the rapture ringing from every bell tower.
my story will be complete.
20. after I am/we are recognized
as the bride of christ
my blood for sale on the open market
only then will you admit
that you gazed into my eyes
and gave me life.
21. After I spun you around down down...
I found the capsule you left behind
you left behind a legacy
for the free world
and the words said
"Remain in the tube."
In a roundabout way
the game commences
The checkmate of the ages is at hand
The ages of sunlight
The ages of moonshine
Are all right In this king’s queen.
Running faster every day
Unlocking open doors
Stacking the cards
Hiding the evidence.
I'm alive again.
© Donna Surles 06.11.10
On Viewing a Cosmic Thread
As I journey I study with magical artists. Each of them gives me a piece of the dream that holds my work together. In return I give them a true vision of the dream. My direct focus is on the Communications influence on what we know as civilization and the directions those influences are preparing us to journey. We are a small part of the entire structure, but the impact that we as individuals have on it is astounding.
I studied Fine Arts at Seminole Community College in the 80’s. It was there that I was inspired by two professors to devote my life to the study and application of the Arts. Grady Kimsey showed me grand style and Bobby McGee illustrated history in a refreshing way. Discovering Salvador Dali was the most important phase of my career. I appreciated his Surrealism, but I was astonished by the Nuclear Mystical Period in his later years. His theory contains Truth and Truth is Beautiful. I knew that was the direction that I wanted to pursue.
In the 90’s I honed my craft at Penn State, had a few solo shows and finished my education. Then I came back to where I started. My never-ending journey through visions of the dream brings me here to weave the universal knowledge on a canvas of space and time.
As a writer…communicator…artist, I see in my past the paths that have led me here, and I will illustrate, with words and images in a constant state of change, the force of life. My personal philosophy of religion, science, and space and time, is the view of a common (cosmic) thread in the theories, manifestos, and ideologies of the sacred and the profane.
The materials I use are as varied as my subjects. I paint with acrylics, sometimes in the dark, using vivid colors on my canvas. I also paint with pastels, using my fingers as I would a dry brush, continually discovering new combinations of colors. I am continuing my research on the possible, but unlikely, uses of positive and negative space. It's all in the spaces between.
Thank you for subjecting yourself to this collection. "The invention of the game caused concern among the players, as this was the first time that live targets were used." Please join us for supper. I learn, I teach and I reflect the passions of my identities.